The McBoom???

During the season opener in Melborne, reports from the Ferrari camp had blamed the engine failures on the standard ECUs. LSOF1 obtained images that the McLaren camp had installed a secret button on the steering wheel of their cars to kill Ferrari engines with the aid of secret algorithms written and hidden deep within the programming of the standardized ECUs.

The latest reports from Barcelona had suggested since the opening round, McLaren had removed the secret button from their steering wheels in fear of being discovered by the FIA, but instead have upgraded this engine kill system, nicknamed the “McBoom” to a portable device which can be remotely activated from anywhere within 5km of the pit lanes via a remote laptop.

Rumor around the paddock suggests this upgraded system was implemented as early as Bahrain, and was also the subsequent reason why Lewis Hamilton plowed into the back of Alonso’s Renault in the opening stages of the race.


Sources from within the McLaren camp informed LSOF1 that the accident between Alonso and Hamilton in Bahrain was cause by human error as the two member in the McLaren team that were operating the “McBoom” device had simultaneously activated the “Rev Reduction” on Alonso’s car and the “Boost” on Hamilton’s car, and McLaren has since solved this problem by only assigning the McBoom Device to one member of their race team.

When asked if the “McBoom” device was the cause for Alonso and Rosberg’s engine failures on Sunday in Catalunya, our sources in McLaren declined to comment except that the “McBoom” device is now in full operation after it’s testing during the recent tests in Barcelona and with the introduction of the MP4-23B due in the next few races, we should expect a McLaren on the top of the podium very soon.

Heikki Test MP4-23B

McLaren Mercedes has secretly begun testing an evolution of the MP4-23 amidst speculation that their rivals Ferrari are expected to dominate the remainder of the 2008 season. Dubbed the MP4-23B, the new car was seen testing recently in yellow trim with driver Heikki Kovalainen at the wheel. The 'rotorblade' design is estimated to be worth up to 0.5s per lap, effectively closing the gap to the current championship leaders.

No official word has been released regarding the MP4-23B's expected release date, but paddock talk suggests that McLaren will race the new car after the teams resume racing in Europe after the two upcoming away races in Istanbul and Montreal.

Rubens Plows Bugs Bunny

On the second day of the recent tests in the Circuit de Catalunya, Bugs Bunny from the famed Looney Toons series was tragically killed in a pit lane accident involving Rubens Barrichello of the Honda F1 team. Bugs Bunny and his colleagues of the Looney Toons series were consultants to the Honda F1 team working on the latest developments of Hondas KER system set to be introduced for the 2009 formula one season.

According to witness accounts, Rubens was coming into the pits for a routine change of tires and fuel when Elmer Fudd was seen chasing Bugs Bunny from the back of the Honda garage into the path of Barrichellos speeding Honda. Bugs Bunny was air lifted to the local hospital but was pronounced dead upon arrival.

This is a tragic event in the latest rounds of the eco friendly developments for Honda. During the recent tests in the Circuit de Catalunya, Honda like many of its peers have been testing new developments for the 2009 formula one season. With the new dramatic rule changes set to take place at the beginning of next season, many teams have already begun testing mechanical and aero packages set to propel their teams to the top of formula one.

In the development of the KER systems Honda recently hired the cast from the famed Looney Toons series, as consultants working with the Honda F1 team. Though the venture between Warner Brothers and Honda F1 has been kept fairly quiet, the cast were on hand to aid the team in their recent tests in the Circuit de Catalunya this past week.

On Wednesday, Ross brawn, team principle for the Honda F1 Team released this statement.

“Today is a sad sad day for F1 and the motor sports fraternity in general. We are sad to report that Bug Bunny was tragically killed in the pit lane accident involving Rubens (Barrichello), Elmer (Fudd) and Bugs (Bunny) himself. We have not had a fatal accident in F1 for a very long time, and though we have strived to increase the safety measures within our sport, today’s tragic event was a step back for F1 and the FIA. We will continue to work with the FIA in imposing new rules regarding shenanigans in the pit lane and garages to improve safety measures in formula one.”

Elmer Fudd is currently being held in the Catalunya police station on the charges of Involuntary Manslaughter and Shenanigans in the Pit lane. Neither he or Rubens could be reached for comments.

Catalunya Testing

Occasional test driver Michael Schumacher will be back at the wheel of a Ferrari as testing resumes at the Circuit de Catalunya next week.

The 39-year-old German's F2009 prototype will be equipped with simulated 2009 levels of downforce and adjustments in anticipation of new environmentally minded regulations.

"We at Ferrari are excited to introduce a radical redesign of our current race car. This new car has been designed in anticipation of the new rules and technologies being introduced into the sport. I will be testing the redesigned car which runs 2009 levels of downforce, as well as being more environmentally friendly--because it's totally electric.", commented Schumacher.

The 7-time World Champion continued, "By going to an entirely electric propulsion solution so soon, we hope to have a leg up on McLaren and the rest of the field."

Honda's golden boy

After seeing how well McLaren's star protégé Lewis Hamilton has fared up to his Formula 1 debut, Honda F1 has decided to look elsewhere for the future of their racing program. Enter 16 year old Will Stevens, who is quickly earning the reputation of being one of the top kart racers in the world. Ross Brawn was at the signing ceremony of the young star, and was happy to get the contract for the young Brit's sealed: "After seeing how little McLaren pays Lewis it was obvious to start hiring kids before they get a taste of the big bucks."


Details of the contract amount for Stevens were undisclosed, however sources tell us that Stevens signed a 4-year deal with Honda F1 for the price of "a year supply of Clearasil Ultra, a high-definition television, a Playstation 3 with a modest library of games and a weekly allowance of £150,". When asked to comment regarding the new deal, Stevens quietly said "This has been the best year for me ever. My voice has finally broke, I've got pubes now, and now I'm going to be a Formula 1 driver!"

Not to be outdone by Honda, Force India owner Vijay Mallya has also launched a campaign to find the next F1 driving star in his home country of India. "We are looking for someone with the ambition to succeed, and willing to do so for minimum wage," said Mallya.

NO CAMELS!

In a controversial move sure to anger the local residents, the FIA have today issued a directive that all Camels must be removed from the vicinity of the Bahrain circuit whilst television broadcasts are underway.

The instruction - which met with the reluctant agreement of the circuit directors - comes as a result of the ongoing laws covering tobacco advertising.

Research carried out by advertising watch-dogs has discovered that the sight of a Camel - an animal that, unusually, has a brand of tobacco ("Camel") named after it - inspires people to take up smoking, and hence is considered illegal advertising under UK laws.

Camel - the tobacco brand, not the animal - famously sponsored such teams as Benetton and Tyrrell prior to the all-encompassing ban on tobacco advertising.

It is understood that the hump-backed animals will be routinely rounded up each morning, and enclosed in a desert compound out of sight of the TV cameras.

A spokesman for the tobacco industry poured scorn on claims that smoking is as damaging as many insist.

"It's nonsense" commented Mr J Sheppard "to claim that smoking is as damaging as many insist."

The organisers are concerned that the lack of Camels will lead to what is generally a boring and under-attended race being even less interesting than normal.